Over the years, I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder, OCD. Add Fibromyalgia, IBS, unstable joints, and at the moment, a damaged SI joint that has been getting re-injured for the last eight months.
What a mess!! And what a daunting looking list.
I have been off all pharmaceuticals for years.
I think it is the OCD that serves me the best. It keeps me fighting! Being vigilant, setting boundaries, and relentless self-talk. Medicinal plants and herbs and food. Keeping my home ‘sacred’ with practical and green-living products (most I make), and creating a sanctuary that feels safe. Yoga, Poi Spinning, Belly Dancing. Breathing. More self-talk. And trying to help others. This is an under-rated activity. When I step outside my internal chaos and share pieces of myself, my intentions, my compassion, my love …. this rates high on creating moments of contentment.
There is no single answer to coping with such issues. It is a constant journey of exploration and adjustment. It is a life-long commitment to adapting and changing and getting back up after feeling battered.
It is not easy. But it does get …. easier. In increments. And sometimes more. Minutes. Hours. Days. Quicker recovery times from a crash.
My biggest challenge: “The Triggers”. I know my triggers, so I carefully avoid situations that I know will set them off. But situations can arise that I just don’t see coming, and I’m hurled into a defensive response. Anxiety overrides reason. Even in the safest, most loving situation, an unexpected pattern change of behavior can set off alarms.
Afterwards, it is hard not to berate myself for my responses. This is where my ‘safe activities’ become invaluable. I put myself in a soothing mode, and remember that I am doing the best that I can, and I will do better next time!
Everyone has challenges. I believe those challenges can be faced a lot more easily IF (this is a big one!) … IF we didn’t criticize ourselves so cruelly.
You are worthy!
You are powerful!
You are strong!
You are beautiful! (yes, men too!)
Just remember to use your power to do good 😉