Until several years ago … rain was grief; rain was depressive; rain was cold; rain was tears; rain was deep pain; rain was — crippling memories. Dismal. Brooding. Dark. Fearful.
Moving to Oregon and living in our motorhome for a year and half, the rain transformed into something else. It was the rhythmic and playful moods that danced on the roof, creating a soothing sound that enhanced sleep. It was warmer rain, glorious rain, nurturing rain. The endless sound of the river became a symphony when rain gusted.
And Sebastian, my Willow, ragged as he was then, still danced. If my damaged Tree could dance, and then glitter when the sun touched the slivers of leaves … why couldn’t I?
I learned the rain did not diminish me. Instead, it offered hope, and courage, and strength and music. It gave permission to shed tears, acknowledging the old and deep grief, and it shared the transformations that occur during and after the cleansing downpour of those perfect waterdrops.
It is renewal. It is a re-awakening. Every moment of every day … we can do that. This is infinity. The cycle, The ever-restless motion of the tides, the relentless cycle of our Earth spinning into darkness and lightness and darkness and lightness. It is drinking deeply of the darkness, the mysterious inner worlds, while gazing towards the incomprehensible vastness of our sky.
Finally, it is not just believing, but knowing, really knowing, that with me and within me .. exists the universe.
…. with love <3
I’ve been neglectful here as my dive into Facebook has absorbed so much time. There is a lure there. Knowing what friends are doing, thinking, promoting, encouraging, banning … so many mini-community cultures uniting into larger intentions of creating a better world. Yes, there are the angry and bitter voices trying to drown out the movements towards healthier and alternative life styles, towards greater understandings, towards loving and compassionate tolerances … but these voices only gain hold if you let them. It is easy to fall into that darkness, trying to argue. But arguing only feeds the hate and anger. Better to just send love their way. Many do not want to ‘hear’, and many more not want to change. These people will not take responsibility for their own actions or thoughts. Casting blame and shame. People who fling such poison … how can you not feel compassion for them? Their inner world must be pure torment.
To believe this … to believe that Love really changes the world .. I do believe it. My body, however, still reacts and recoils away from conflict. Defenses snap into place, and the flight response is always poised. This is why it is a practice … slowly slowly s l o w l y the responses are softened and become less intense.
Patience. And compassion. And forgiveness to ourselves and others.
… with love and gratitude ^_^